Random Ramblings

by Harley David Rubin

VIEW FROM THE CELLAR
Vol. I, Issue No. 6
“Random Ramblings”

Yep, it’s “rebuilding time” on the Rubin ranch. I’m not mathematically eliminated, but I might as well be. I would need HUGE comebacks from tons of guys, and I’m smart enough to know that it won’t happen.

I just hope you’re smart enough to remember the purpose of this column—my little public service to you, the fantasy baseball player—to tell you what I’m doing and thinking, so you can do the opposite and win. Because I’m a loser, baby.

I promised random thoughts. I am a man of my word…

I visited Turner Field on Sunday, May 29 to see my Phillies (now that they’re back at .500, I’ve got one foot on the bandwagon) take on the Braves. They had won the two previous games in Hotlanta (which was not hot at all — 60 degrees and drizzling), so when I show up, they lose…

Juan Gonzalez is hurt again. I don’t even know that there’s a punchline for that. I mean, tearing your hamstring right off the bone sounds really painful. I wonder if his injuries have been steroid-related, too much effort-related, or just the worst luck this side of…um…me?

Octavio Dotel is out for at least a year, having Tommy John surgery despite four doctors telling him not to have it done. I don’t know where Octavio went to med school, but if it was me, I’d be likely to listen — especially when there are millions of dollars on the line and possibly less painful and career-damaging options…

TRADE UPDATE…1) I dealt Jon Garland/Laynce Nix/Merkin Valdez for Garret Anderson in my first attempt to get offense. Garland has shown signs of slippage since I dumped him, Nix is probably a solid player in the making, and Merkin just has a cool name.

2) Sent Ryan Wagner/Xavier Nady for Hee Seop Choi. Still searching for offense of any kind. Wagner had just been named the CIN closer by every other site on the Internet, and Nady was just riding my bench thanks to his 3B/OF versatility. So far, a complete wash as none of the above have done diddly.

3) Dumped Mike Mussina/Edgardo Alfonzo for Bret Boone/Erubiel Durazo. Probably a good deal in 2002 or 2003…actually, no. I would have gotten ripped off then, too…

4) The big one. Gave up Ichiro/Jimmy Rollins/Cliff Lee/Geoff Jenkins for Pat Burrell/Rafael Furcal/Felix Hernandez/Aaron Hill. Clearly a rebuilding process has begun. Going younger, hoping Furcal goes .330 the rest of the way to get up to his normal numbers, looking to Hernandez as an SP in Seattle for years to come, Hill as trade bait since I’ve got eight guys to fill time at 2B/SS/MI. But you don’t trade Ichiro, dummy — even if he’s at .288…

I don’t think anyone can build a winning team in Colorado. Ever. That stadium is just death for pitchers…

If you told me in March that Baltimore would be this good in 2005, I would have laughed and laughed. Then again, we know the premise of this column is my stupidity and making it work for you…

Is the National League East so close because the teams are that good or that bad? I think the bloom will come off the rose for the Mets and Nats…

Would you rather be a fan in Tampa Bay, Kansas City, Oakland, Cincinnati, Houston or Colorado? I’d take any of the first four before the last two…

Is there anything more frustrating than being in leagues so deep that when you need a DL pickup, you literally can’t find ANYONE who is remotely worth getting?

I think the stats in my money league are rigged.

Please remember: DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I DO. IT IS A GUARANTEED WAY TO WIN. I MAY SOUND SMART AND LOGICAL AT TIMES, BUT I AM CLEARLY NOT. I AM A LONGTIME LOSER AT FANTASY BASEBALL.

OK kids, that’s it for now. Tune in next issue, when my topic will be: “How To Start Rebuilding” — which you shouldn’t have to do if you do the opposite of me.

Good luck. And if you’ve got a topic you’d like me to discuss, or advice/comments for me, send ’em to me at hrubin@fantasyinfocentral.com