Need a Bad QB: Vote Kerry in '04
October 13, 2004
I have so many regrets. I like to pretend I don't, but it's a lie. Little whispers nag at the back of my brain all day, peek up into my consciousness at the worst possible times and I find myself saying things like, I wish I'd paid more attention in high school, I wish I'd kissed Jami Zanes when I had the chance, I wish I'd spent more time with my dad. But it's not going to happen-there's no time machine, no second chance to live life all over.
It’s too bad really.
I shouldn't dwell too much on this. Most of us have parts of our lives that we wish had fallen out differently—missed opportunities, bad decisions. Perhaps the most striking example I can think of is that I really, really wish I could go back to last Saturday night and take Kerry Collins out of my starting lineup. You know? I really think I'd be a different, better man today if I'd done that.
I know one thing—if I had, I would've beaten the guy in first place. I mean sure, I wouldn't be in first place myself or anything, not in that league, ever, but neither would he. And I'd have a higher number in that W column. I could use that. I really think it would help me feel fulfilled and give my life a sense of purpose and completeness. If only I could go back…
(Cue dream sequence)
I'd say to myself, Yeah, Indy has an awful pass defense, will score enough points to keep Kerry throwing all night, and there's no way Kerry will throw three more picks this week…but, I'll keep him out. Never has a decision seemed so easy and been so wrong. Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect some great outing, it's just that my other choices consisted of Trent Green on a bye week and, well, nothing else. Still, there had to be someone on the waiver wire. And shouldn't Kerry and this offense be a great fit? What is wrong? I was actually eager to pick him up as a back-up QB.
This week, I am leaning towards starting Trent. Because I am clearly a brilliant fantasy mind! Tough call and all, I mean Kerry'll be throwing it at Champ Bailey and a solid Denver pass defense while Trent has only one thing going for him, but I really, really like that one thing. Namely- He's Not Kerry! Yeah, sure, I'm leaning towards Trent, if by leaning you mean laying horizontally with both arms extended and pointing directly at.
I mean, here's Trent going against a Jacksonville defense that's only been abused once, he’s playing against a team that won't turn this into a shoot-out, and his wide receivers are banged up. But he could break both of his wrists, become color blind and near-sighted, plus line up behind five rookie offensive lineman and he'd get the nod.
It's not all Kerry's fault. Sure, I'm going to behave towards him as if it was, but it's not. It's also the Green Bay defense's fault. These guys double-bit me this week. I shall explain.
Thanks to strong showings by Tiki (steal of draft), Moss (No, not Santana; Moss equals Randy, Santana must always be prefaced), and Antonio Gates (every owner reading this who drafted Antonio Gates, go ahead and allow yourself a little jig, okay a big one), I went into Monday night on a very, very positive note. My opponent, undefeated, was no slouch and he still had Favre and Chris Brown to play. I was done, but sitting pretty. Smiling even. Apparently, I was begging the fantasy football gods to bend their giant index fingers and flick me off my pedestal. After all, the only way Favre and Chris Brown could both score enough to beat me is if Tennessee runs all over Green Bay, racks up the points and forces Favre to chuck them up all night long.
(Cue giant finger dropping from heavens, poised to flick.)
Then Green Bay's absolute lack of defense began to sneak up on me. First, Chris Brown starts to plow through them. When they started reviewing those first quarter stats, I found myself curling into a fetal position. There was no way this would end well. He already had 2 touchdowns and 1,863 yards (a slight exaggeration, for accurate statistics please see someone whose fantasy team didn't lose). Plus, all this scoring wouldn't bode well. The last thing I needed was for Tennessee to score a ton of points with my opponent's running back so that it would force Green Bay to try and score a ton of points with my opponent's quarterback.
Why couldn't Kerry have been playing the Packers defense?
When Favre threw two more picks in the second half, I actually started to think I would survive. The game was getting out of hand—maybe they'd rest Favre, the Titans would sit Brown and I'd get through this, knock off a top flight team in my league and keep myself in the fantasy playoff picture.
Or, on the other hand, Favre could throw one more TD pass, break 300 yards (this league gives a 3 point bonus at 300 yards passing) and I could lose by seven.
That would just be perfect.
(Cue Flicking.)
I dropped Kerry Collins today. Clearly over-reacting. Clearly too late. This way, he can turn around, play great against Denver and give me something else to regret this week.
Moral: Life is full of regrets. So don't be too hard on yourself. Instead, curse profusely and blame Kerry Collins.
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Okay, in lieu of Kerry Collins, what's the worst decision you've made this year? All Antonio Gates-like, what's the best draft move/sleeper you got that is producing? Any regrets?
Fantasy Football 
I did the same last week and I'll never look back!
My sleepers that have been awesome are...
1. Antonio Gates TE (SD) (7th round)
2. Duce Staley RB (PIT) (12 round)
3. Kevin Williams DL (MIN) Late Late rounds in 25 player keeper
4. London Fletcher LB (BUF) Last round in that same keeper
oh yeah, and I also traded Michael Clayton for Tiki Barber straight up...days after I picked up Clayton OFF FREE AGENTS.
oh Tiki, how I enjoy you now that Jamal Lewis is gone, and Michael Bennett is hurt.
Words to live by.
As a Raider 'fan' (more by proximity than choice), they seem to be headed into an abyss. Ah well, see "Moral".
Great stuff Nad!
Best moves? Drafting Edge with the 8th pick, drafting Chris Brown in the 5th round (and there's nothing like making a pick and hearing other owners' anger that you took that player), picking up Antonio Gates in week #2 as a free agent (although I dropped Daniel Graham to get him....so this one could still be up in the air)
Worst moves? Drafting Fred Taylor in the second round (I could have taken McNabb, or as my co-owner wanted to do, take Dillon), drafting Jeff Garcia in the 6th round as my starting QB, drafting Derrick Mason AND Darrell Jackson over Andre Johnson.
But casperben's is the one that baffles me, Staley in the 12th round! Is that a four team league? And Clayton for Tiki, someone didn't trust him, eh? Man, you must be cruising.