Out on a Limb
Fantasy Football Predictions

Wild West Showdown

The predictions made here each week do not represent the views of everyone on FIC and should not be used for gambling purposes.

Some try blind guesses by having their pets pick the games each week based on which treat they decide to choose. Others make themselves out to have bizarre psychic nicknames. Still more throw darts at a board and pick whoever it lands on. And, yes... there are a few actual experts, but I'm not one of them. Kick off every weekend with "The Mutt" as he tests his skills all season long against a few of our correspondents in the race for the FIC Cup.

Official FIC Cup Standings (Last Week in Parentheses)

Tim Noakes 77-60-7 (9-5)
Jeff Brown 72-65-7 (8-6)
The Mutt 64-73-7 (5-9)
Jay Schell 61-76-7 (6-8)
Chris Wang 58-63-7 (7-7)* Missed Week One
Zach McCann 46-64-6 (0-0-0)

Wild West Showdown

Quick aside: The Mutt has but one thing to say about this weekend's Game of the Week... It's about time!!!!!! After eleven weeks of avoiding the AFC and NFC Western divisions (possibly the two best divisions in the league), or having one of the teams from the West facing an AFC East team, the West finally gets to have two teams go head to head in our game of the week!

When the Niners and the Bolts meet on Sunday afternoon, it will be a tale of two teams that seem to be heading in opposite directions. After getting out of the gates at 5-0, the Bolts have lost three of four, including a heartbreaking 28-24 loss at the hands of the Rams last weekend which saw them blow a ten point lead in the final three minutes. A soft early season schedule seemed to aid the Bolts in jumping out to a great start, but as they head into a rough divisional stretch after this weekend, they're in desperate need of a victory against their intrastate rivals on Sunday.

The Niners, on the other hand, seem to have their division well in hand. Although they struggled in the first few weeks, San Francisco has been playing some of the best ball in the league since week two, losing just one of their last seven (35-27, at New Orleans). The poor start by fellow divisional favorite St. Louis has left the door open for the Niners to take a complete stranglehold in the division, as they have a three game lead on the Cardinals and Rams through the first ten weeks of the season.

Game of the Week: San Francisco (-2.5) at San Diego
San Diego Offense vs. San Francisco Defense
Leading NFL rusher Ladainian Tomlinson hasn't exactly shown signs of the fade that he suffered towards the end of his 2001 rookie campaign thus far, as he's rushed for over 100 yards in two of his last three games and has scored in four straight. In order for the Bolts to have a chance in this one, he must put up another big game, and probably has to get in the end zone at least twice. Drew Brees needs to play with the confidence that he played with when the Bolts hosted the Niners Bay Area rivals, the Raiders, and must connect with Curtis Conway a few times to stretch the Niners run defense for L.T.

The Niners have been solid, but unspectacular, all-around defensively all season long. They rank just outside the top ten in both passing and run defense, and cannot be allowed to focus on the run alone. Ahmed Plummer keys a strong secondary that should give Brees fits for most of the day, and should be asked to shut down Conway all afternoon. As long as he doesn't let Conway use his size too much.... Advantage: Niners

San Francisco Offense vs. San Diego Defense
The Niners have developed one of the better ball control offenses in the league over the past two seasons. Coach Steve Mariucci manages to keep his backfield fresh with the old, familiar, running back by committee, primarily relying on veteran Garrison Hearst and youngster Kevan Barlow. Both backs should threaten 1000 yards this season, but neither will surpass 50 against a Bolts defense that is #1 in the league against the run.

Unlike San Diego, however, the Niners are also blessed with one of the better quarterbacks in the league and one of the league's more established superstars as a wideout. Jeff Garcia and Terrell Owens could have a field day against a San Diego secondary that has allowed almost 260 yards per game (30th in the league). Tai Streets should see plenty of action as well in this one, but expect a big game from Garcia against a defense that was shredded for over 450 through the air last week by the Rams Marc Bulger. Advantage: Niners

Special Teams
If Special Teams truly do win championships, like they did for the Patriots last year, then neither of these two teams is going to go far in the playoffs. Jose Cortez and Steve Christie are arguably two of the five worst place kickers in the league. Neither has much range, and neither has much of a history of coming through in the clutch. Chargers punter Darren Bennett's numbers appear to be down from a distance standpoint this season, but he's actually been the #2 punter this season in terms of pinning the opponent inside the 20. Point to that and the threat of veteran return men Tim Dwight and Tamarick Vanover as the Chargers take a slight edge here. Advantage: Chargers

Coaching/Intangibles
The Chargers bought into "Martyball" right off the bat like no team of Daniel Snyder's overpaid former superstars could, but seriously. For years, everyone seemed to criticize Niners Coach Steve Mariucci. He's taken a team that had established a dynasty, watched it fade away, and has rebuilt his own dynasty... winning his way. The job that Mooch has done in San Francisco is akin to what Schottenheimer pulled off earlier in his career with the Chiefs, but Marty still doesn't quite seem to be the caliber of coach that he was at that point in his career.

Once again, the Niners come in on a high, having won three straight. The Bolts are on a downslide, losing two in a row and three of four. It should be interesting to see how the Chargers handle this game psychologically after a pivotal loss last weekend in St. Louis. The homefield comes into play a bit, but it's only enough to make it close. Advantage: Niners

When It's All Said and Done
The Niners just have too much depth and are too versatile both offensively and defensively for the overmatched Chargers to handle. The Bolts will keep it close, and the game could come down to the last ten minutes, but expect the Chargers to return to what they are the rest of the way... a team that should finish just over .500 and miss the playoffs by a game or two. Niners 27, Chargers 20

(Sob)Lock of the Week: Denver (-4) at Seattle
Would someone please loosen the leash here a bit??? Yes. The Mutt has only won one lock of the week so far this season (2 pushes). In the last four weeks, The Mutt has gone 0-2-2 in his lock of the week, losing by a combined one point after the Patriots came back to win by just three (favored by 3.5) and the Eagles won by six (favored by 6.5) the week before.

As for the game.... Matt Hasselbeck fooled The Mutt once last week, but should return to his own fool status this week. If Hasselbeck's a starting QB in the NFL, then maybe it's time to stop writing this column and put on the pads. Broncos 34, Seahawks 13

George Costanza "Opposite Lock of the Week": Carolina at Tampa Bay (-8.5)
After a stunning debut on Monday night when the Raiders actually did smoke the Broncos, it's time to bring this back for another go. All signs point to the Bucs tearing apart a Carolina offense which is absolutely incapable of scoring when they're scrimmaging, but.... The Bucs best chance to score is Derrick Brooks. While the Bucs should actually win big here... Panthers 12, Bucs 9

Upset Special: Green Bay (-6.5) at Minnesota
The Pack have the best record in the NFL right now, and it seems that nothing can stop them. Enter astroturf. Welcome to the friendly confines of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, where Brett Favre will fall to 2-9 in his career this weekend. Vikings 23, Packers 20

And now, a few things to ponder while we try to figure out just what the heck the criteria really is for the MVP voting:

R.D.C.I. - Dayne Cheeseburger Consumption 146, Giants 140
Passing Yardage for Marc Bulger last week: 453
Passing Yardage for Kurt Warner in weeks 1-4: 899
Passing Yardage for Tommy Maddox last week: 473
Passing Yardage for Kordell Stewart all year: 593

New Orleans at Atlanta (-3) - Every time The Mutt thinks of this game, Herman Munster questioning Joe Pesci about what a yout is keeps popping through his head. Can Cousin War II live up to the hype that was left after Vick beat Brooks 37-35 in New Orleans a few weeks ago? That victory can be credited with turning the entire season around for the Falcons, and they'll be out to build on it when they host the Saints with a chance to inch closer into the divisional race. Falcons 34, Saints 33

Cleveland (-3.5) at Cincinnati - Unfortunately for the Bungles, they only play Houston once all season. They might keep it close for a while, but look for Couch and Co. to take over in the end. Browns 30, Bungles 17

Dallas at Indianapolis (-7) - Will they be the Colts or the Dolts this week? Regardless of whether it's the team that smoked the Eagles last week or the team that's been showing up all year, they will win this game. The seven points are a bit more tricky, but the Cowgirls will find a way not to cover. Colts 27, Cowgirls 13

Buffalo at Kansas City (-3.5) - Ummmm.... Lock of the Week: Take the Over!!!!!! - Despite being held to just 20 points combined in their last respective games, one of these teams might score 100 this week. The Chiefs should stand pat at home in a true offensive slugfest when they actually come up with the game's only defensive stop in the final two minutes! Chiefs 63, Bills 56

Baltimore at Miami (-5) - Fiedler will not play this week... 'Nuff said. Ravens 17, Dolphins 13

Washington at New York Giants (-3.5) - This game could be pretty painful to watch, as neither team really has shown a whole lot offensively all year. The Giants have at least managed to put something resembling a defense on the field, and that should be the difference. Giants 20, Redskins 10

Arizona at Philadelphia (-11) - Captain Cardiac will make a game of this at the end, but the Cardinals will lose to their old NFC East rivals, just like they always did. Eagles 27, Cardinals 20

Pittsburgh (-3) at Tennessee - Sadly, whoever wins this battle of teams that started out a combined 2-7 will lay claim to what would be a playoff bye in the first round of the AFC playoffs if the season ended in Week Eleven. Whoever wins this game can officially claim that they're for real. Until one of them proves otherwise, they're both just pretenders. Titans 23, Steelers 20

New York Jets (-3) at Detroit - The Jets are on top of the world after beating a punchless Miami squad by all of three points last week! If they can show up with the same team that showed up in San Diego a few weeks ago, this one should be over quickly. If the team that faced Miami just switches to their road unis, The Mutt smells an upset. Lions 24, Jets 20

Jacksonville (-6) at Houston - Straight up losers as the lock of the week at home against the flailing Titans a few weeks ago, the Jags finally righted the ship by playing a member of the league's worst division last weekend. Sadly, the Texans are a better test than Steve Spurrier's Gators Reunion Class. Texans 20, Jags 17

New England at Oakland (-3) - If only it would snow in Oakland this weekend..... Patriots fans will be in an uproar when Rich Gannon appears to fumble the ball as the Raiders drive for the game-winning score in the closing minutes, but it's ruled a tucked ball. Raiders 23, Patriots 21

Chicago at St. Louis (-10) - As the team projected to lose in the lock of the week two weeks in a row, Chicago covered both games by a combined one point! Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me! Rams 30, Bears 21

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