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Check in often as F.I.C.'s Mike Timberlake answers your questions and adds his two cents. No topic is off-limits in the column you help to create.

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April 29, 2004

No Mesa stats in Fantasy Baseball Heaven

04/29/04 Posted: 06:12 PM PST

Question: I drafted Jose Mesa in Fantasy baseball Heaven(FBH) named "UseTheBat MAN at CROCKETT's BARS" and he doesn't show any stats yet. What gives? There is no way to contact anyone at FBH?

Name: Geo Jeff
location: Fredericton, NB, Can.

Answer: Jeff, try emailing customerservice@fantasybaseballheaven.com. I found it under the "Contact" link at the top of the page. Good luck. You'll need it with Mesa.
~M.T.

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April 26, 2004

My sexyness....

04/26/04 Posted: 05:59 PM PST

Question: I am just ultra sexy. Please forgive me for my sexyness, but I do have 2 questions.

Question One: What the [expletive] has Ben Affleck been doing?
Question One with an extra part: Do you think I am sexy?

Question Two: Why did you kiss Sofia Coppola's A**???!!! This enrages me!
Question Two with an extra part: Who would you rather have, me or the Boston Red Sox? :)

Name: Jennifer Lopez
location: Grammar School

Answer: Ah, my readers. You gotta love them.

Well, Ms. Lopez, Ben Affleck has been a horse's ass and apparently made himself the unofficial spokesperson for Red Sox Nation. Don't ask, I have no idea. Oh, and yes, J-Lo, I would not kick you out of bed. My wife might, though. As far as Sofia Coppola, all I have to say is Gigli, OK? Come back when you've made a decent movie, honey. Finally, I would have to choose the Red Sox. I guess Ben made the same choice.
~M.T.

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April 21, 2004

The Player That Does Everything

04/21/04 Posted: 05:52 PM PST

Question: Carlos Beltran, the guy does everything you can imagine. This guy is well-known but doesn't receive as much credit for his skills. Do you think he has the potential to become the next A-Rod or even a Pujols because of his speed/glove/power?

Name: Dylan B.
location: Long Island

Answer: I think seeing what he's done this season, he's definitely taking the leap to super-stardom. He'll be a free agent at the end of the year and I expect him to test the waters. Depending on where he ends up, he should be a megastar. You know we're all fooling ourselves because there's no way he doesn't end up in New York pinstripes. Bastards!

Comparing him to A-Rod or Pujols is a bit unfair, though. A-Rod is the best player in baseball and plays the infield. Pujols is actually younger than Beltran and he's already above what Beltran has done. Beltran holds his own in his own way. He'll be a legitimate 40/40 threat for years to come. I wonder if there's any takers for Johnny Damon? Beltran would look nice in Fenway.
~M.T.

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April 18, 2004

To Trade or Not to Trade

04/18/04 Posted: 04:47 PM PST

Question: I've been offered Preston Wilson in a trade and I've heard he's going to be out 4-6 weeks. I could potentially deal Larry Walker or Trot Nixon for Wilson. Who do you think I should deal or should I not deal at all? I'm worried about Trot's back injury and Walker is always gimpy. Thanks...

Name: Punch Drunk
location: Coors

Answer: If I were you, I wouldn't make any deal for Wilson. The prognosis from the Rockies is that Wilson could be back within 4-6 weeks. That sounds to me like a best case scenario. Walker and Nixon will both be back for you by May. Bad knees and outfielders are not good combinations. I wouldn't worry too much about Walker or Nixon's injuries as we already know the worst and they're well underway with their rehab. Wilson's injury is still developing and he has yet to undergo surgery. I think you should hold 'em here.
~M.T.

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April 15, 2004

How Am I Doing?

04/15/04 Posted: 04:36 PM PST

Question: How have I been doing in golf lately?

Name: John Daly
location: In Court with my wife

Answer: John, glad to hear from you. Last time we hung out was that coke party out at Doral. Glad to see you made it through that. Sorry to hear about your marital problems, but if you weren't drunk half the time and high the rest of the time, you may have saved your marriage. That must also be why you're asking me how your golf career is going, because you're so incoherent you must not know where you are.

Well, you sucked so bad at The Masters that you didn't even make the cut. You finished tied for 10th at the Bay Hill Invitational and you actually finished fourth at the Nissan Open. Oh yeah, you also won the Buick Invitational. You must have been sober for that one, right? Keep up the good work, pal. The golf, not the addictions.
~M.T.

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Rock 'N Belle

04/15/04 Posted: 04:25 PM PST

Question: Whatever happened to John Rocker and Albert Belle?

Name: $I Need Money$
location: U.S. Cellular Field

Answer: They formed a hip hop group and are currently coming to a casino near you. I also heard they were going to step in to the vacant role left by Siegfried and Roy in Las Vegas; that being the gayest couple on The Strip. There's another rumor floating around that they went to prison and this time it's Rocker on the recieving end of Belle's high, hard one.

Thanks folks, I'll be here all week. Please try the Prime Rib!
~M.T.

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April 14, 2004

Back In The Saddle

04/14/04 Posted: 04:21 PM PST

Sorry for the brief hiatus. It seems there were some updates to the website as well as our mail accounts. Your trusty answer man fell asleep at the keyboard. All the questions I got were neglected while I sat here thinking you all didn't love me anymore. Well, everything is straightened out and the answers to your questions will be coming shortly. Thanks for your paitence through my stupidity.
~M.T.

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April 13, 2004

MLB 2005

04/13/04 Posted: 06:36 PM PST

Question: Why is Barry Bonds not in MLB 2005 for Playstation 2?

Name: $I Need Money$
location: U.S. Cellular Field

Answer: Geez, your parents must have hated you. What kind of name is that? Though it must be pretty chill to live in a ballpark. Do the White Sox know you're living there?

As for Barry "Balco" Bonds, he is not in MLB 2005 because he is no longer part of the Major League Baseball Players Association. That's the Player's Union. If you are not affiliated with that body, then you are not eligible to be included in any video games. I think the same holds for Brian Daubach and Ron Mahay, who were barred from joining the union as they were "scab" players from the baseball strike in 1994.

Presumably, Barry exited the union because he didn't want to share his endorsement money. My personal feeling is that he doesn't want to be tested for any banned substances. Once the Player's Union makes the inevitable move to push for mandatory steroid testing with public results, the players have no choice but to comply. But, since Barry is no longer in the Union, he is untouchable. Too bad there's still one of his samples from last year's test laying around. The investigation continues......
~M.T.

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April 09, 2004

Sleeper Closer

04/09/04 Posted: 06:25 PM PST

Question: I have a team that is stacked with the exception for saves, which little known closer would you reccommend, or which closer will be moving into a closer's role this season.

Name: Jeremiah K
location: Pittsburgh, PA

Answer: The guy I'm really high on is Kerry Ligtenberg in Toronto. The job is wide open and he has had past success as Atlanta's closer in 1998. He was injured for all of 1999 and effectively lost the job due to that reason only. He has always put up great stats and it's just a matter of time before he distinguishes himself from his competition. With Toronto's great lineup and improved pitching, he could get 20 or so saves this year.

Another guy is Curtis Leskanic in Kansas City. Mike MacDougal is currently on the DL and is just too wild to be a consistent closer. Leskanic is currently the closer due to MacDougal's owie, so if he's out there, you'll get saves out of him right now.
~M.T.

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The Sky Is Falling

04/09/04 Posted: 06:16 PM PST

Question: The Tigers are 4-0! What's next... the Red Sox-Cubs World Series?

Name: Chris
location: Jersey

Answer: God, I hope so, Chris. You're from Jersey? I hope you're not a Yankee fan. They're in league with Satan, you know.

As for the Tabbies, they've gone 1-2 since this question. They do look like they'll be winning tonight's game. It's too soon to tell, but they have to be better than last year. Even if it's by accident.
~M.T.

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April 08, 2004

Angels Offense

04/08/04 Posted: 04:46 PM PST

Question: After two drubbings in pitcher-friendly Safeco Field at the hands of the vaunted Angels offense (yes, I'm a Pineiro owner), what do you think about the strategy of simply benching starters slated to face this fearsome group?

Name: Jer S.
location: Westchester, NY

Answer: It entirely depends on who you have starting and where they're playing. Pineiro was a good bet to start at Safeco, but sometimes things happen you can't predict. The Halos sure are a scary bunch, but Jose Molina had a lot to do with those two wins. That's kind of fluky and I don't expect him to become the next Johnny Bench. They also have Adam Kennedy and David Eckstein playing over their heads right now, so expect them to cool off. I wouldn't start Dan Wright against them, but if he's on your team, you have bigger problems. As always, look at their historical matchups and do your homework. Pineiro has always struggled against the Angels (2-3, 5.79 ERA, 1.45 WHIP in 12 games), so it may just be history repeating itself.
~M.T.

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April 05, 2004

The Other J-Lo

04/05/04 Posted: 04:35 PM PST

Question: What kind of season can I expect from Javy Lopez? Even if last year was a fluke, his numbers should improve this year playing at Camden Yards, right?

Name: Ben A.
location: Seattle

Answer: Man, I saw J-Lo in the question title and I got excited. I figured it was a chance to comment on some thick booty or rip on Ben Affleck. But no, it has to be a baseball question. Fine.

Javy Lopez had a monster season last year. It looks like he's picking up where he left off. As of now, he's hitting over .500 with a pair of jacks, seven ribbies and has five walks to only one strikeout. That strikeout-to-walk ratio, while it may not hold, is completely opposite of what his career numbers reveal. The move to the American League should help, as you alluded to. He can get a day off behind the plate and still DH. I expect good numbers from him. He won't duplicate last season, but .280 with 25 homers and 70 RBI isn't a stretch to imagine.

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April 04, 2004

What's Jocketty smoking?

04/04/04 Posted: 06:57 AM PST

Question: What in the world could possess the Redbirds to deal off two cheap worthless players for one expensive one? With Edgar Renteria and Matt Morris still unsigned for next year, they went out and added Roger Cedeno for $500,000 this year and $5 million next year???? Please, Mike. Tell me that I'm missing something here.

Name: Jim M.
location: St. Louis, Missouri

Answer: I think Mets GM Jim Duquette finally used those incriminating photos of Walt Jocketty he had been holding onto. You know, the ones with Bud Selig and him slow dancing with no clothes on.

Honestly, this makes little sense. If Cedeno had just this year remaining on his contract, I could understand it. I wish I could say Cedeno showed something this Spring, but it was more of the same. He hit .232 with no homers and 2 ribbies. He did go 3 for 4 in stolen base attempts with a triple (Little consolation, I know).

I think this signals the end of Renteria in St. Louis. Cedeno, the Cards probably figure, will replace the steals that are leaving with Edgar when he signs with the Red Sox. I do think that the team will make every effort to resign Morris, as he's their ace. So, it could be worse......or not.

Let's face it, the Cardinals are a mess. They got Cedeno for speed, but his steals have dropped from 55 in '01, 25 in '02, down to 14 last year. There's a trend there, and it's not a good one. Not to mention he can't hit or get on base with any regularity. They have Tony Womack starting at second base and he couldn't get past Mark Bellhorn on the depth chart when he was with the BoSox this Spring. A platoon of Ray Lankford and So Taguchi certainly has to be better than Cedeno, not to mention cheaper. But even then there's no guarantee Cedeno will beat out Lankford, so where's the sense in that? If the Cardinals wanted to make a deal, they should have shored up their suspect middle relief.

I feel for you, Jim, I really do. I don't think the Redbirds have enough to challenge for the division this year with Chicago and Houston. Maybe you can make a side bet with Gordon to see if the Cards win more than Milwaukee. That worked out real well for him last year against Jeff and his Cubs.
~M.T.

Comments (4)

April 03, 2004

Quick Question and a Compliment

04/03/04 Posted: 07:17 PM PST

Question: Damn, you're good. You should be on TV or radio. You even have a broadcaster's voice!

But here's my question...
Can you give me some info on the following players who should bounce back? Is Pat Burrell worth a starting spot in a 5x5 league? How about Junior Griffey? Also, would you pick up Jon Lieber? When he's back he should have some solid fantasy value, right? Lastly, what kind of numbers can I expect from Marquis Grissom this year?

Thanks alot.

Name: Devon E.
location: Stony Brook, New York

Answer: Anytime Devon. I appreciate the kind words. I've also been told by some women I also have a face perfect for radio. Regardless, it's questions from the readers that keep this going, so let's get some more in here.

As far as your "quick question", it's neither quick or a question. More like four, but that's OK. I spoke about Griffey in the previous entry. I think he'll manage to stay relatively healthy this season and put up some good numbers. I think it�s realistic to expect a .280 average with 30 or so homers and close to 100 ribbies. Health has always been the question with him, so keep a close eye on him. He's still battling his pesky calf injury from the Spring, but he's been getting regular treatment. I think he'll be a great steal of any draft in the late rounds. He's even going undrafted in some leagues.

Pat "The Bat" Burrell should bounce back after his tough 2003 campaign. There was no explanation for his season long slump, but he's looking good now. He hit .278 with 2 homers and 15 RBI and looked to be enjoying himself out there from what little I saw of him when the Phillies played the Red Sox. Two years ago, he looked like he was about to join the ranks of Manny Ramirez, Gary Sheffield, and Steve Finley as one of the best hitters in the game (OK, not Finley, just wanted to see if you were paying attention). He fell flat on his face last season and for no good reason. There was no injury and nothing really wrong with his swing. Should Burrell be starting on your fantasy team? Right now, I'd say no. You can't completely trust him just yet. Burrell is a touchy player who can't seem to forget his last at-bat. He carries with him up to the plate the next time. So, after a season of doing that, do you think he'll be different? He has to get a little more mentally tough, that's all. Take him in the middle rounds and have him be your fourth outfielder. You could do a lot worse.

Did I see you wanted to know about Marquis Grissom? Yeesh. I mean Grissom isn't a bad player, but he's just not a fantasy factor. You'll always get high-teens/low-twenties homer potential from him. He doesn't steal much anymore and he's a year older. Dustan Mohr could take many of his at-bats now, as Grissom is a year older. He had a nice season last year with a .300 average, 20 homers, 79 RBI, 11 steals, and 82 runs. I have a hard time thinking he'll duplicate that now. I also think Todd Linden will emerge in the middle of the season and that should further limit Grissom. He's not worth drafting, but if your team is hit by the injury bug, he's worth a look. Then look for somebody else.

DISCLAIMER: Any and all advice regarding New York Yankees players will be severely biased. Any research on Yankee players causes the author to develop intense twitching and nausea. In fact, he'd rather gouge his eyes out and light them on fire.

We'll finish with my favorite topic, a player from the New York Yankees. Apparently, few of you know I am a Red Sox lifer. There are no depths of my hatred for the Evil Empire. Jon Lieber will be a pleasant experience for me, though. He's going to be out until at least May. He hasn't thrown off a mound yet and his recovery is slow. Obviously, when he gets back, there's going to be a rush to claim him on waivers, but resist the urge. Who knows what he'll do. Sure, he'll grab a couple of cheap wins due to great run support, but he may not even join the rotation right away. Steer clear of him. For now, I'll enjoy watching Donovan Osborne as the Yanks' fifth starter. Too bad Yankee fans won't.

What am I talking about? Screw Yankee fans!
~M.T.

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April 02, 2004

Give up on Junior?

04/02/04 Posted: 04:43 PM PST

Question: I drafted him in the last round of a recent draft. He's now nicked up again. His teammate (Kearns) is on the waiver wire. Should I make a claim for him (#8 waiver priority out of 10) and drop Jr.?

Name: Aaron J.
location: San Diego, CA

Answer: The Reds say Griffey will be ready for Opening Day. They could be telling the truth. Then again, they have a new ballpark to open and want fannies in the seats. Call me sentimental, but I want to believe Griffey will be OK this year. I think people have forgotten just how great a player he is. He's been hurt for the past three years with different things, but when he plays, he's a game changer.

Sure, he only hit .247 last season in limited action, but he had an OPS of .936. I know most fantasy leagues don't use OPS, but it's a much better indicator of offensive output. Kearns is a great talent, don't get me wrong, but his average dipped 50 points last year and OPS also dropped nearly 100. That may signal the pitchers are figuring this kid out. Kearns himself is having back tightness, so even he's no sure bet to stay healthy.

If I were you, I wouldn't jump on the Kearns bandwagon just yet. Griffey has 50 homer potential if he's healthy and you got him in the last round. Not a bad value at all.
~M.T.

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Matsui vs. Matsui

04/02/04 Posted: 04:27 PM PST

Question: Which Matsui will be more productive in 2004? Kaz or Hideki?

BTW, did you see my movie and love it like everyone else? Now kiss my a** like the rest of Hollywood. Thank you.

Name: Sofia Coppola
location: Hollywood, CA

Answer: First, I'll answer the baseball question, Sofia. I know the hype surrounding Kaz is huge, but you have to give Hideki the nod here. He's got a year under his belt and the New York media coupled with the media sent from Japan to cover all their players may be too much for Kaz to handle initially. Hideki is surrounded by a much better team and showed last year he can play despite all the pressure. Plus, Kaz was the best player in Japan last year, but only because Hideki had come to New York. Look for Hideki to almost double his homer output while Kaz takes a year to adjust to the league. Personally, I wish Hiedki all the worst and the Yanks to finish third. Screw 'em!

Now, on to your masterpiece, Sofia. Lost in Translation was a great movie. I especially liked the scene where Bill Murray was in the Japanese strip club. Very nice. I will absolutely kiss your a**, because it was a damn good film. Not to mention, you aren't that bad looking.
~M.T.

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